When Stefan Merrill Block was about 12 years old, his paternal grandmother, Mimi, visited his family in Texas. “The boy should be in school,” she told his mother. “It’s a Thursday! A boy on Thursday should be in a school learning something. He needs the—what do they call it? The curriculum.” Block’s mother, who had chosen to homeschool her younger son for five years starting in elementary school, responded: “Actually, the new theory in education is that what matters most is teaching a child to love to learn, to let them follow their interests.”
Thirty-five years ago, this approach seemed cutting-edge. Today, it is mainstream practice in both public and private schools. Teachers regularly assign projects based on student interests rather than rigid curricula. Even classes that still read books rarely use the same texts. Elementary students are encouraged to find materials that spark their interest—often stories about characters who resemble them—and assess if they are at an appropriate reading level by counting unfamiliar words per page.
Block’s mother implemented extreme methods during his homeschooling years. She kept him home for five years partly to protect what she believed was his genius and partly out of loneliness, wanting him with her when his brother and father were occupied. She also refused to let him grow up: holding him in the pool as a baby, bleaching his hair with peroxide to match his toddler appearance, and forcing him to crawl on his hands and knees for months—based on her belief that this stage develops handwriting skills.
Block experienced profound isolation. With only two other family members present, they seemed absent from his childhood. His father worked long hours, and his brother had friends to hang out with. Block’s social circle dwindled from a few elementary school friends to just one playmate, eventually to no one his own age. He spent time watching daytime television, reading comic books, and running errands with his mother. At times, he expressed dissatisfaction with the arrangement, but his mother made him feel guilty about wanting to leave her.
When Block convinced his mother he should return to school in ninth grade, he was a target of ridicule. His mother required him to bring a typewriter to class and wheel a small filing cabinet from room to room. He was mocked and beaten by peers. His understanding of basic subjects was limited—he believed the Civil War was named for etiquette displayed by both sides. The only academic exception was math, where his mother enrolled him in a correspondence course.
Block’s memoir intersperses his childhood struggles with a history of homeschooling legislation. He notes that “many families on both ends of the political spectrum wanted to exit a culture they no longer trusted and cloister themselves in a profoundly smaller community of their own making.”
He describes how, under pressure from traditional Christian groups, states rapidly legalized homeschooling without regulation. In Texas, for example, parents did not need a high school diploma to homeschool; those convicted of child abuse or sexual assault could still legally homeschool with no oversight.
Block acknowledges his book is not an indictment of homeschooling but warns that “the lack of oversight has become a crisis.” He cites cases such as 14-year-old twins in New York held captive by their mother, who fed them only formula and infant cereal to keep them young. She had filed fraudulent homeschooling paperwork with the city.
Block emphasizes that educational neglect is common among families with abuse histories. Cases include Gavin Peterson’s murder in Utah after years of starvation and abuse, where school officials were told not to feed him; and a Connecticut man found in captivity by his stepmother after decades of abuse, who was later listed as being homeschooled.
Block states that none of this would have stopped his mother from homeschooling him. His experiences with physical abuse—such as crawling on hands and knees until his hands were raw—likely went unnoticed by school officials. His mother’s mental health issues also remained hidden within her family.
The author notes that homeschooling advocates often ask, “compared to what?” When fewer than one in three students in Chicago read at grade level, homeschooling may not be the primary issue.
By the time he graduated high school, Block had caught up academically and socially. He now has a wife and children. His memoir will likely be used by critics of homeschooling to highlight potential harms—but it is ultimately a reflection on the complex relationship between a mother with mental health challenges and a son who did not want to hurt her.